5 Things That Surprised Me About Life With 2 Kids

Our boys are 23 months apart, and man they have taught us a lot already! There have been countless things that I didn’t expect when it came to having two small children, but a few second baby surprises stick out in particular.

I talk more about our experience transitioning from 1 child to 2 in the video below, but here are some things I didn’t mention:

1. They feed off of each other’s energy

Whether that mood is happy, sad, hysterically crying, tired, or a combination of all, they often share emotions. I can’t tell you how many times one of them crying in the car has caused the other one to start crying! I try to keep this in mind because if I can keep one of them happy, it makes it a lot easier to keep them both smiling.

2. It can become super overwhelming, seemingly out of nowhere

There are many moments when I find myself standing there with my hair a mess, teeth not brushed, trying to make breakfast while my toddler screams for TV and the baby is at my feet pulling my pants down. And oftentimes in those moments I think, “weren’t things calm like 1 minute ago?” We can go from smooth sailing to our baby in a leap and our toddler in a sleep regression, or even worse both of them in sleep regressions. And on top of that our toddler will often regress behaviorally (think tantrums, stealing pacifiers, etc.). just to put himself on the same playing field as his younger brother.

Just know this: when moments become overwhelming, this too shall pass. Peaceful times will come again! We just gotta get through the chaotic ones to get there. And if anything, it makes you want to soak up the quiet snuggles or the late-night nursing sessions even more (like I’m doing right now as I write this).

3. The second baby can be totally different than the first

I’m not going to lie, I had a hard time connecting to my second pregnancy right up until the end. I couldn’t imagine another baby, especially a second boy, without imagining my first son. I just pictured another version that would look and act the same as Christian. But then when we had Arlo, he looked like this silly old man and screamed like he was furious all of the time. It was totally different than my first experience having a newborn and was one of the biggest second baby surprises to me. Neither one is better than the other, just different! And that’s what makes them each so wonderful and unique to themselves.

4. The older sibling is paying attention, even when you don’t notice it

Christian certainly shows his jealousy in moments where we celebrate milestones with Arlo, like cheering him on to walk or giving him his first foods. But he’s also paying attention in the smaller moments, which was another one of my top second baby surprises. He’s watching me wipe Arlo’s nose in the next room over or watching me hug him when I don’t realize it. I’ll catch him sneakily staring at me while I feed Arlo when I totally thought he was playing with a toy or watching TV.

There are times when I don’t think that Christian needs more affection from us at that moment, but he does. And often if we don’t meet him there, that’s what causes him to act out. A big way we can prevent toddler meltdowns for him is by reassuring him that we love him and are paying attention to him, even when we’re paying attention to his little brother at the same time. It’s all a balancing act!

5. The lovable moments feel even more full

You often hear this analogy of your heart growing in size, similar to The Grinch, when it comes time to have a second baby. For me, I feel this most in the moments of simple happiness as a family. Playing together on the playroom floor, watching the boys make each other laugh, seeing them giggle with one another or interact with the same toy. In those moments, your mind forgets that you were standing pantsless in the kitchen that morning thanks to them. Instead, you’re flooded with comfort and your heart literally feels like it’s filling up with twice the love for both babies. I love them both equally, I have the same pride for one as I do the other, and I continue to be grateful that we have both of their wild souls to fill our home and our hearts.

Watch my video below for more on our experience!