The following post was written in the middle of the night, after a late-night nursing session in 2018. Hang in there, sleepless friends!
Insomnia. It’s a terrifying word, right?
As I write this, it’s 3:18 am and I’ve been awake for nearly an hour. I got up around 2:30 am to do our nightly feeding and haven’t been able to relax since. This is one of the reasons I’m “working on” cutting out that middle-of-the-night feeding, but let’s be honest I have taken zero steps to do so thus far. Enter pregnancy insomnia (dun dun dunnnn).
The word goes hand in hand with anxiety for me because it’s those middle of the night hours when my mind runs the wildest and I can’t quite get it to chill the F out. The house is completely quiet, the lights are out, my husband is breathing heavily as he sleeps, and the dogs occasionally make a small noise. I hear the faint ticking of my watch and see subtle signs of light from the street outside. It may sound peaceful, but in reality, I’m panicked inside.
I’m laying there for what feels like hours, rolling back and forth, telling myself “don’t look at your phone, don’t open your eyes, don’t do it” which only adds to the anxiety.
I had pregnancy insomnia expecting Christian, and it was the most irritating thing. I found that it was driven by 1) my body prepping itself for baby and 2) my nervousness for what motherhood held for me. Waking up at 2 am nightly, I would be up for 2-3 hours with no signs of sleepiness whatsoever. But in the wee hours of the morning when I couldn’t sleep, I could at least tell myself, “This is prepping you for being a mom! This is for a reason!” Nowadays though, I really need that sleep and find myself thinking, “What are you doing up?! You need rest to care for your tiny human!”
These days it happens similarly to how it did during pregnancy, but after I wake up with my son. I feed him and try so hard to make moves that will allow me to go back to sleep, but it doesn’t always work.
Sometimes, somehow, I’ll end up wide awake in bed thinking of all of the things I need to get done
…or the schedule I have in the day ahead, or the milestones I need to work on developing with him, or the guilt of using a laptop to entice him to crawl instead of oatmeal or something he can actually have, or the fact that my stomach is growling but it’s now 3:30 am so I really shouldn’t go downstairs and eat an egg sandwich the way I’d like to, or that I have to be up in 2 hours and my opportunity for sleep is dwindling by the minute.
Sometimes I end up blogging in the middle of the night because these “real life moments” hit me and I want to share it with all of you!
My point is this: insomnia sucks. Pregnancy insomnia REALLY sucks. We’re all human, and regardless of how pretty life looks on the outside often times we end up awake at 3:37 am thinking about the meaning of life and craving an egg sandwich.
If you find you struggle with new-mom or pregnancy insomnia, there are a few things I have tried that worked:
Don’t look at your phone while nursing in the night
This can be so much easier said than done, but I promise you this is what made the biggest difference for me! The blue light and the different stimulation continued to quickly turn (and keep) my brain on until I went cold turkey and avoided it. I would get up, check the time, and put my phone down refusing to look at it! Sitting back and letting my head hit the top of the glider, eyes closed, felt way more relaxing than trying to kill the time browsing Instagram or online shopping. You’ll be thankful for the quiet time and moments of silence, too!
Keep water bedside
The night I wrote this post, my thirst came into play. I didn’t have water next to me, so I would get up to go downstairs and grab some. It was all downhill from there! This was one of the easiest fixes for pregnancy insomnia.
Melatonin*
Throughout the years, Melatonin has been a savior for helping me get to sleep and stay asleep. This one is obviously up to personal preference and need! For me, I just grabbed a small bottle on Amazon to try out and it worked wonders. I made sure to first bring it to one of my appointments so I could double-check with my OBGYN, and he gave me the go-ahead for small doses and short term use for pregnancy insomnia. *Be sure to check with your medical provider before taking any supplements.
Journaling
Writing out your thoughts during the day or right before bed will help clear your mind. There’s something therapeutic and effective about getting all of the thoughts out of your head and onto paper! If journaling doesn’t feel natural to you, try making a list, bullet points, or just doodling a bit. Focus on exercising your mind and working through any thoughts, stresses, or anxieties that are filling it. And make sure to do this prior to your head hitting the pillow!
Eat healthy throughout the day
Try cleaning up your diet (especially at dinner!) This will help prevent heartburn, stomachaches, and anything else that might keep you physically uncomfortable during the evening. Drinking plenty of water will help you out, too!
Have a nightly routine
You don’t have to wait until baby is here to start a regular, calming nightly routine! Set yourself up for sleep success with a cup of your favorite tea, self-care, mediation – whatever you might need! This will help get your body and your mind into a state of relaxation and overall sleep readiness.
Try a meditation
I’m addicted to the meditations in the Peloton app, but you can easily find guided meditations on YouTube or Spotify, too. Putting your mind into a peaceful place as you doze off will help you do just that! Plus, the more you do them the more comfortable you get guiding yourself through that same state of relaxation later when it’s needed. Like, when you’re up in the night nursing and can’t get back to sleep, for example.
And most importantly, give yourself a break! Don’t put pressure on yourself to get to sleep. It only makes new-mom and pregnancy insomnia worse and you’re doing the best you can. One day, we will sleep again! If not tonight, then maybe in 20 years when our kids are out of the house (maybe).
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