The idea of a baby and toddler sharing a room can sound kind of crazy to a lot of folks. I get it! When I first shared that we were planning on room sharing after baby #2, it confused a lot of people. And honestly, it took us a while to get there. We co-slept with our second son until he was about 9 months old when we finally decided that breaking co-sleeping and moving him over to his own crib into his shared room with his brother was the right move for us. We were all very ready at that point!
Now that our boys (who are nearly 3 years and 1 year old) have shared a room for a couple of months, I’m so relieved to say we made it out the other side. We’re room sharing successfully, our baby is sleeping through the night in his own crib, and we could not be happier with our decision! If you would have told me a few months ago that breaking co-sleeping and having the boys in their room together peacefully was possible, I wouldn’t have believed you. So here are my tips and tricks for what worked for us. Every family and every baby is different, but these are the adjustments we made for a smooth and successful transition!
Have confidence in your decision
It will motivate you to push through any tough times (and late nights). We KNEW this was what was best for our family, so I didn’t let doubts from others turn into doubts of my own. Room sharing is totally normal and natural, and oftentimes the only option available! Own it and don’t look back. Also: if it’s not for you, have confidence in that too! I firmly believe that every family must do what’s best for them. That will look different from baby to baby and mom to mom. If co-sleeping feels best for you, then don’t feel guilty about that either!
Start slow – and go easy on yourself!
And I mean this in whatever way works best for you! We started with putting the baby in the crib just for naps. Once he felt comfortable napping in his own bed, we moved into nights. Even after we moved Arlo into his crib at night, there were a few nights at the beginning that we brought him back to our bed midway through the night. This is what worked for us! It helped ease my mama mind to slowly work him into it, and he eventually became more used to his own bed and his shared room. Ultimately that led to longer stretches in both (until he all of a sudden started sleeping through the night in there!). Breaking co-sleeping is a process for everyone, so be patient with yourself (and them!)
Have a good nighttime routine.
We really focused on spending each night winding down with the same routine: dinner, playtime, bath, reading, hanging out in the (shared) bedroom, then lights out. We all know keeping a consistent bedtime routine is key with kids, but even more so when you are trying to get one of them used to a new room and/or getting them both used to sharing that space.
Spend extra time in the room with both kids.
As mentioned above, spend extra time hanging out with both kids in the new shared space. Especially with the baby! After having our first son, we noticed that we really didn’t spend much time in his nursery. We were really only in there when I was nursing (now I understand the name…) or if he was sleeping. With our second, we aim to have time after baths where we are just playing in there, reading books, or casually hanging out. This really helped both boys get used to being in there together, and it helped Arlo get used to being in his new room more regularly! We would also practice this by setting him down in the crib while we put away laundry, changed his brother, etc. so he could become more used to spending time in his new bed.
Focus on bonding as part of your nighttime routine.
Because our boys are so close in age, they do everything together. This wasn’t intentional, but it’s one of the many unexpected treats of life with two kids. I do think this time together helped bond them for bedtime in the same room and helped us in breaking co-sleeping. Diaper changes, baths, playing, you name it. We had them sharing baths for a while there before our toddler hit a rough stage, ha! But overall, our bedtime routine is always shared which I think helps naturally transition into a shared sleeping arrangement.
Set up the new crib in advance, before making the transition.
We set up our second crib (Arlo’s bed) when we first moved into this house, even though we knew that it would be months before he made his way into it! This really helped Christian get used to being in the room with two beds and didn’t create too much change all at once.
If you need to, try a new mattress.
If you have seen my videos on YouTube, you may know that we saw significant progress in Arlo enjoying (okay, tolerating) his car seat once we switched to a new brand. We had the same experience with mattresses! We originally got him a mattress from Target, but we were fortunate to have the chance to switch to a Newton Baby mattress. I talk more about that in my video below, but the Newton was SO much more plush, comfortable, and quiet for him. It made the world of difference when it came time to lay him down! Note: I nurse him or my husband rocks him to sleep every night. Again, do what works best for you! If you have been wanting to try a Newton mattress, you can use my code OLIVIA50 to save $50.
Celebrate the accomplishments.
This one is the most fun – for all of you! We basically threw a party every time we hit a milestone with the transition. Our kids loved it, and it helped us feel more accomplished, too! When we would get them from their room in the morning, we’d cheer and clap and yell “you did such a GREAT job sharing a room together!” or “Arlo stayed in his crib all night! Isn’t that awesome?!” Our toddler loved the celebrations and it helped re-enforce how exciting it was to have them share the new setup.
If there’s anything I leave you with, it’s that we have to take care of ourselves and do what’s best for our own individual families. Breaking co-sleeping was the right move for us, but remember to have confidence in your parenthood, do what works best for you, and don’t be afraid to try something new (or pull back if you need to). We’re all doing the best we can! Hang in there during the extra tired times. You’ve got this!
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Watch my video below to hear me talk through our experience!
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