Currently expecting? The world of motherhood can be filled with A LOT of advice. And honestly, it can be pretty overwhelming for an expecting first-time mom. I get asked a lot what I would go back and tell my former first time mom self, so I want to share my top advice for expecting first time moms. I’m sharing what I’ve learned after having two babies, and what I wish I could go back and do differently. I hope this helps!
First, know that every family is different. You may do things differently than some of the other moms around you. That’s normal and totally okay!
When you’re an expecting first-time mom, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed with the pressures of perfect parenting. Breastfeeding? Sleep training? Co-sleeping? Pumping? Childcare? Working? Potty training? There are a lot of factors for each and more than likely, your situation may have different variables than the person next to you. Have confidence in your motherhood and don’t feel pressure to parent in a way that doesn’t feel natural to you! We are ALL different. And it sounds cliché, but truly every baby and every household and every mother is different and will have different needs and therefore results. Don’t compare yourself to the mothers around you, and don’t feel pressure to let others’ parenting affect how you feel about your own.
For example, my first son was ready for his own bed and space at 2 months old. And even though people shamed me for that decision, I’m 100% confident in it because I know it was right for him and our family. On the other hand, our second son didn’t move to his own bed until 9 months old. And once again, that was the right move for him! A lot depends on personality and needs, so don’t hesitate to feel comfortable making decisions that are different from those around you. There is a tendency for motherhood to feel competitive and it shouldn’t be!
Don’t feel like you need every baby item on the market.
As an expecting first-time mom, it’s easy to become obsessed with scouring baby items online. Especially when building a baby registry, it can feel like the biggest decision ever to decide which item from each category to buy or receive. It’s stressful! I remember feeling like there was no way to know the exact right baby monitor to get or the exact right stroller or baby carrier or breast pump. It can end up making you feel like if your baby doesn’t have the perfect item, then you’re already off to a bad start. There are SO MANY options out there and honestly, any of them will do just fine. Do a bit of research, see what is best for your household, and just pull the trigger and don’t look back. All babies need are love, attention, sleep, and food. Anything else just helps with comfort!
Don’t let yourself stress out about the specifics of baby items because once the baby is here, all they care about is you. And honestly, they grow out of everything so fast. You’ll wish you had spent more time on self care and sleep while you still had the chance! Plus for all you know, you could find yourself stocking up on endless swaddles and pacifiers only for your baby to absolutely refuse them (been there – twice!). I say, grab a couple of things that help you feel prepared and wait to see what your little one will prefer once he or she has made their arrival. Believe me, it will help your mindset and stress levels (and wallet) to focus on the material items less!
If you’re nursing, start working on your freezer stash early.
And I don’t mean that you should feel pressure to pump a ton of breastmilk from day 1, but I really loved using tools like the Milk Saver to catch leaking breastmilk early on and start saving it in the freezer. With my first, I was so stressed about my milk stash once I returned to work and had our sitter giving bottles while I was gone. It felt like we burned through the stash quickly (even though we had plenty) and it was always in the back of my mind.
For my second time around, I knew I wanted to start saving milk early so I didn’t feel so stressed later on. I started using this Milk Saver from day 1 after having my second baby, and I was usually able to catch an additional 1 oz each feeding (or pumping) session! Bagging it up and storing that extra milk helped me feel much more secure in the amount of milk we had on hand should we need it.
Prepare for postpartum!
I have to be honest, I did not do this at all my first time pregnant. It’s ironic, because I vlogged my birth and shared openly about my experience. But when I was an expecting first-time mom, I didn’t actually do any research of my own on giving birth. So after having a baby, when my doctor said “you’re going to bleed for about 4 weeks”, I was shook (is that what the kids say?). So my advice is: prepare! Watch labor videos, know what to expect for various kinds of delivery, and stock up on postpartum essentials. You can see my whole list of recommended postpartum items here! Know that the 4th trimester is real and every postpartum recovery looks different, but being prepared will help you recover that much quicker.
I also recommend stocking up on plenty of groceries, maybe some prepared meals you can freeze, and lots of extra household items like paper towels, toilet paper, and garbage bags. Because it’s those things that you’ll run out of before you know it while caring for a baby! I also really loved using Daily Harvest after my second baby because it helped me have healthy smoothies, flatbreads, oatmeals, and (dairy-free) ice cream that was easily accessible. HelloFresh was a favorite of ours too! Just anything to help your life feel more convenient will make a world of difference.
Remember to take care of yourself!
Read that again. And again and again until it has sunk in. As a mother, it is SO important to take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. And unfortunately, it is so easy to forget that we need to do so. We can easily become consumed with our babies and motherly duties – I mean, understandably so because they’re so cute and fulfilling! But as the baby grows up, many of us find ourselves searching for our own sense of identity or our own sense of self care outside of being a mom. Don’t forget that you were a person before you had a baby, too! So all of that to say, take the five minutes a day you need to shower, eat a meal, or just sit and rest.
We cannot properly take care of others around us until we have first taken care of ourselves! There is a reason that on an airplane they teach you to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Think about that analogy any time you need to! Because you deserve the love and the self care just as much as anyone else. Don’t forget it! And feel free to check out my at-home pamper routine any time you need a little self love inspo. You take care of yourself, mama!
Pin this for later when you need a confidence boost!
